Friday, June 13, 2025

Age of Myth - Audible Daily Deal

 

This is starting to be a summer of savings.  Audible has made Age of Myth (Book #1 of Legends of the First Empire) their daily deal!


For those who aren't familiar with this series, it's the one that has opened up the world of Elan to a whole added layer which will make a post Riyria Revelations series possible. It's called "The Cycle" and while only the first two books are written (five total), we won't know if it'll be released or not until it's finished and crossed a very high bar I've set.


As for The Legends of the First Empire series. It's six books that are broken down into two closely related trilogies. The first half tells the truth behind the history I've lied to you about regarding the first great war between men and elves.  The second half is what blows open what is known about Elan but to say more would be a huge spoiler.

Here is the publisher's back of the book blurb:  

One of fantasy’s finest next-generation storytellers continues to break new ground.

Michael J. Sullivan’s trailblazing career began with the breakout success of his Riyria series: full-bodied, spellbinding fantasy adventures whose imaginative scope and sympathetic characters won a devoted readership and comparisons to fantasy masters Brandon Sanderson, Scott Lynch, and J.R.R. Tolkien himself. Now Age of Myth inaugurates an original six-book series.

What does it mean if a god can be killed?

Since time immemorial, humans have worshipped the gods they call Fhrey, truly a race apart: invincible in battle, masters of magic, and seemingly immortal. But when a god falls to a human blade, the balance of power between humans and those they thought were gods changes forever.

Now only a few stand between humankind and annihilation: Raithe, reluctant to embrace his destiny as the God Killer; Suri, a young seer burdened by signs of impending doom; and Persephone, who must overcome personal tragedy to lead her people. The Age of Myth is over. The time of rebellion has begun.

Magic, fantasy, and mythology collide in Michael J. Sullivan’s Legends of the First Empire series:

  • Age of Myth
  • Age of Swords
  • Age of War
  • Age of Legend
  • Age of Death
  • Age of Empyre


Friday, June 6, 2025

Don't miss these low prices on released audiobooks!

Hey all, Robin here. Having read books #1 and #2 of Michael's "The Cycle" series (the post-Riyria-Revelations series that is sure to be his magnum opus), I'm on a bit of a "mission" to get people "caught" up.

For those that don't know. The Cycle is a love letter from Michael to his fans and will be the crowning and concluding series that will draw from all twenty-books he has published so far. But it is NOT something that can be read on it's own.  In fact, it's not something that can read by someone who has only read "some" of Michaels's books.  

Now, if you are behind, no worries. Michael won't even think about the release dates until all 5 books are written, and as I said only books 1 and 2 are written at present - so you have plenty of time to catch up. But, if you have read one or the other of the series, and will be digging in to the others "at some point" - now is a great time to pick up titles you may be missing - plus, you'll get to hear the tales through the amazing performance of Tim Gerard Reynolds.  

Okay, so why pick them up now? Well the books are on sale at rock bottom prices. While all the books are on sale, I recommend the following titles.


All THREE Rise and Fall books: $14.14


That's less than the cost for a single credit! And if you only need one or two of the books it's cheaper than a cup of coffee: Nolyn ($3.24) | Farilane ($4.41) | Esrahaddon ($6.49). 


Most Recent Riyria Chronicle books: $14.66



Legends of the First Empire Graphic Audio: $19.73


For those who prefer full-cast dramatic audio versions, then I'll suggest picking up the Legends of the First Empire series: Age of Myth ($2.23) | Age of Swords ($2.23) | Age of War ($2.23) | Age of Legend ($7.56) | Age of Death | $3.25) | Age of Empyre ($2.23).  That's six books for less than a Jackson.

Buy now keep forever

Another important factor of this sale, is that since you are "buying" a copy - it'll always be sitting there in your library for when you want to read it in the future. In other words, titles purchased in this sale won't go away over time.

Speaking of that. There are still a number of the audiobooks that have been in the Audible Plus catalog for the past 6 months or so.  Because they are currently free, they aren't part of these deeply discounted sale prices and they are being removed from the progarm on July 1st. So if you are in the middle of listening, finish them up before then.


Riyria Revelations Free until 07/01


What's better than low priced? Well how about free? You can listen to the Riyria Revelations, the series that started it all as long as you do so before July 1st. That's when the books will be removed from the Audible Plus library - an "all you can listen" program that ends when the titles are removed from the catalog. You can listen to the 81 hours of content from this link.

Note the first two of the three full-cast dramatic versions of these books are available for free now (also ending on 07/01) but the last book of that series can be purchased at the sale price of $4.91 - and it will be yours forever.  

Riyria Chronicles Free until 07/01


And last but not least, there are still a few titles in the Riyria Chronicle series that will be free until 07/01. This includes the non-dramatic versions of books 1 & 2, and the full-cast dramatic versions of the first three books. You can start reading them now, but you have to finish by the first of July as they'll loose access on that date.




Wednesday, June 4, 2025

Theft of Swords on Sale for $1.99 - Limited time

Hey all, Robin here. I was just notified by ebooksDaily that Theft of Swords is on sale for $1.99 today. It may be that it's a one day sale, or it could be longer, to be honest I don't know now.  But I thought I would let you know about the greatly decreased pricing (I think this generally runs $6.99 - although it has been awhile since I checked the pricing on this title).


This is the book that started it all, and is a great value as it has two full-length novels in one omnibus edition: The Crown Conspiracy & Avempartha.

Here are some links you can use to get the discounted pricing:

There may be other places, but I noticed Books-a-million has it at $6.99.

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Sullivan Spoils - Season 1 Episode 2 is launched!

 


This actually went up a while ago but I didn't post it.  The second Sullivan's Spoils is posted.

You can chat about it on the discord server here.

And a few other things to note:

  • Riyria Chronicle books #1 - #4 should be coming off the press soon - you can pre-order copies here and they come in both Regular Hardcovers and Deluxe editions - either with or without slipcases.

  • Esrahaddon is on sale through the end of the month:


Saturday, May 10, 2025

After the Fall Part 7 - A seven-part red carpet roll out for Out of the Ashes

  You can read the prior six parts here:


OUT OF THE ASHES
(APROPOS FOR BOTH TITLE AND THE PROCESS THAT CREATED IT )

For the next year and a half, Lorian struggled but always moved forward. She fell down often, but always got back up and tried harder. I insisted on the best she could do, and often this was more than she believed she was capable of. I was not forthcoming with answers or even what I was looking for, and frequently stood by and watched her fail over and over, purposely letting her flounder because this wasn’t about a book. This was about a career.

I wanted Lorian to succeed, just as I hoped all my Novel House students would thrive. But succeeding isn’t getting published. It isn’t writing a novel good enough for one of the Big Five to produce, or even fight over. Convincing one or two editors at a publishing house that they should take a chance on you is a very specific achievement that can have little to do with the quality of the novel. Being the new cool thing, wasn’t good enough. Fame of that sort can be fleeting. I’ve seen numerous authors “hit the big time” and seen their book covers on posters in bookstores and their names popping up everywhere across the Internet, and then five years later, they were gone. Being "good enough" isn’t "good enough." To truly succeed as a novelist you need to be great. I wanted greatness for Lorian. And so I was tough. I forced her to rework perfectly fine chapters, insisted she redo the same scenes over and over, and demanded she create multiple versions of the same paragraph to explore other ways of solving a problem. I even had her revise single sentences, and consider each word, no matter how seemingly insignificant. I took her writing down to the studs and forced her to wax on, wax off, paint the fence, and sand the floor, until finally it all began to come together. 

And so we came to January of 2025 — which did not start well. 


Michael J. Sullivan — 1/13/25, 9:10 AM

Sorry I haven't responded to you. Looks like Robin and I will be driving to Michigan today or tomorrow where my brother is in the hospital. It appears as if he may have an aggressive form of leukemia, and I just learned my sister, 65, is working two jobs. We need to find out what's going on there. Tim (my narrator) is also having some personal issues, and my daughter's best friends are suffering mental and physical breakdowns—which she is dealing with. So, 2025 has hit the ground running. This is all to say it might be a while before I can return to reviewing your chapters. That's no reason to stop. Finish the book if you can. See how much you can workout yourself.


Lorian — 1/13/25, 9:12 AM

Good lord. I’m so sorry. I really hope things turn around fast.


Lorian — 1/29/25, 2:18 PM

Are you two holding up okay?


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/1/25, 5:12 PM

Slowly getting my feet back under me. Thank god 2025 is almost over. How is the book going? Do you have something for me to look at?


Lorian — 2/1/25, 6:04 PM

I do. Just a sec, and I’ll look and see how much.

I believe the last one I sent was the rewrite of Chapter 14. I have eight more. 

The grand word count so far is just shy of 91,000. Of course I don't yet know if the new stuff I've written is what needed to be written.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/2/25, 6:01 PM

Here's a fun assignment (not).  Can you assemble everything you’ve done thus far (only the approved or current version) into a single file with chapter headings and the whole shot as if it was a completed novel and you were sending it to a publisher. Then send that to me? 


Lorian — 2/2/25, 6:35 PM

I’ll need to get everything into Scrivener first. I write in Docs then transfer completed chapters to Scrivener. The only problem is I’ve made changes in Docs that I forgot to make in Scrivener. Oops! I’ll have to import everything again. Or maybe I can make this happen using Docs. So that’s the long answer. The short answer is “Yes! I’ll figure it out!”


Lorian — 2/3/25, 10:45 AM

Okay, I think I did it. Some of the chapter titles are terrible. There are occasional words in red in a few chapters where I marked something to revisit.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/3/25, 9:24 PM

This works. Give me a while to look at it.


Lorian — 2/3/25, 9:25 PM

Ok!


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/19/25, 10:43 AM

On the road in Knoxville, but I just finished CH 16. Minor notes to improve. Only one minor correction. Doing great so far. Will be moving on to Seventeen ASAP, and will send notes when I get back to the cabin next week.


Lorian — 2/19/25, 10:44 AM

Great! Safe travels.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/20/25, 10:06 AM

Okay, so I read through chapter 22. You can stop writing. You’ve already blown past the end of the book and are still going. The novel should end with the climax.  I have more to discuss, which we will when I get back. Suffice to say, you've finished the book, just need to edit it now, adjust a couple of chapters, add a couple, and that will be it. 


Lorian — 2/20/25, 10:08 AM

This news just made my morning.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/20/25, 10:10 AM

Take the weekend off. We'll have a Discord chat when I get back so I can explain everything you have left to do, and then everything that happens next. 


Lorian — 2/24/25 at 12:37 PM

Something I forgot to ask: Will I need to start setting aside money? I know there are about to be a lot of people who will need to be paid. Does the funding come from Kickstarter pledges? I don't know how any of this works.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/24/25 at 4:10 PM

I understand why you would ask, but no. We are going to act as your publisher, and money NEVER goes from the author to the publisher. Once the book is done, we will draw up a contract (consider this the last lesson in being a professional author). This contract will be similar to a publisher's contract (except a lot nicer.) We will give you an advance up front. Most of the money to print the book, create the cover design, do the book layout, any swag or promo materials, the cost for packaging and shipping of books, and to create the audio version (which we will do ourselves hiring Tim to record your book and having him hire an audio editor on our behalf), will come out of the Kickstarter. 

My time and Robin's time is free — you couldn't afford us anyway. If the kickstarter doesn't cover all of it, then we will take the money that the book makes to pay for that until our expenses are covered. Once that happens — ONCE YOU EARN OUT — (which usually means once you recoup your advance, but in this case merely means once we are debt free from the costs of this publication, then you will begin earning your royalties: a percentage of the income that is made from the book. Right now we are thinking a 50-50 split, but this might change (likely in your favor.)

Robin is working on this, as we've never done anything like this before. In any case, we won't be asking you for money. In summary: After finishing the book, you do nothing, spend nothing, but get money for the rest of your life. And that amount of money increases with each book you produce. Kinda sounds like a ponzi scheme, but that's how publishing works. Of course, we are shielding you from the ugly side, which you will likely discover once you step out on your own.

 

Lorian — 2/24/25 at 4:20 PM

This all makes sense. Can I tell you again how starstruck I am that Tim will be reading?

 

In conclusion, Out of the Ashes, the first novel of the After the Fall series written by Lorian Ellis and Michael J. Sullivan will be kickstarted sometime in the coming months. Obviously not all the books in the series will be completed (as per my usual personal insanity). However, the novels will have satisfying endings and not leave you on the edge of a cliff (unlike some of my previous works). 

Also, being a new author who is subjected to the whims and constraints of a cruel overlord, Lorian may not be capable of churning out a novel a year. She has learned a lot, and her mastery is increasing, but she’s not me. So, don’t expect that. And don’t allow the failure of other authors to deliver in a timely manner cause you to miss out on this opportunity to help a first-time writer achieve her dream. This book, this series, this author, is worth it. 

But don’t take my word for it. Here is the (unedited) opening of Out of the Ashes, by Lorian Ellis—judge for yourself:

——————————————————————————————————————————

What do we do after the world ends?

Roda Kern didn’t know the answer. She was certain no one had ever had reason to consider the question…until now.

The best course of action, as far as Roda was concerned, was to sit alone, staring at what had once been the Imperial Capital while scrubbing her right hand on the spring grass. The skin on her palm was red and raw from the constant scouring, but she couldn’t stop; it didn’t feel clean no matter how much she rubbed and scraped. Her left hand was also filthy—every inch of her was—but the right was the real problem. That was the guilty culprit—the one that had committed the crime.

After barely escaping the disaster, Roda had done little more than linger on a tiny hill overlooking the massive crater where the great city of Percepliquis had once stood. Mostly, she passed the time by inventing new ways to torture herself. Refusing to eat was the easiest. After the loss of the granaries, storehouses, and butcher shops in what had been the center of the world, food was now a scarce commodity. Roda didn’t deserve to share in what little remained. She didn’t deserve to have or do anything.

She’d done enough.

Instead, Roda sat beneath a spindly ash tree and argued with her stomach, which after being ignored for so long had progressed from general aches and pains to the more aggressive strategy of sharp stabbing pains. 

“We don’t deserve food. I've explained this. Remember?” she said, looking down at her belly. 

As always, it grumbled in reply. Her stomach didn’t care a whit about penance. Selfish beyond belief, it had no sense of remorse or regret. All it wanted was some ham, a bit of milk, and maybe some roasted potatoes.

Oh dear Novron, potatoes! With melted butter! 

Roda wasn’t without empathy; it wasn’t her stomach’s fault to be attached to such a horrible person. 

Thankfully, there’s a cure for what ails both of us. 

Lifting her head, Roda gazed once more at the crater she had dubbed "The Hole." What had once been houses, shops, municipal buildings, the great library, and the imperial palace was now a gaping wound on the landscape. It covered several square miles, and grew larger each day as its unstable walls continued to collapse. Yesterday’s rain had caused multiple mudslides that swallowed a farmhouse on the crater’s rim. Roda had watched it tipped, ever so slowly, then topple.

Not everything was buried. Shockingly, the Cenzarium––or what was left of it––remained partially visible on what had been a hill. The building’s elegant dome was missing, but the rotunda remained. Four of the eight stately columns that had once held up its pediment still stood, but now supported only sky. 

How ironic, she thought, and once more rubbed her hand, this time in the dirt, then wiped it on her skirt.

This must be how murderers feel, but it isn’t blood I can’t get off my hand––it’s chalk. I should have been buried in that hole, too. Why did the Lord God Novron spare me? 

Giving up on the effort to clean her hand, Roda lay down and stared at the blue sky of another gorgeous day. 

“Seriously, why?” she called out to the god, who she imagined resided somewhere overhead.

He didn’t see fit to answer. 

Roda had asked herself the question countless times over the last few days and always arrived at the same conclusion: Novron made a mistake. Gods err, too, don't they? 

Perhaps he’d been distracted in the midst of the mayhem and had forgotten to drop a building on her. Now, embarrassed and unable to admit his error, he waited for Roda to do the honorable thing and throw herself off the cliff. He’d even presented her with the perfect jumping ledge, a fine rock that jutted several feet past the rim of the crater. As generous as this gift was, something about plunging into The Hole didn’t sit well with her.

Roda sighed, rolled over, and studied the ravenous and insatiable crater. Great black columns of smoke rose up and spread out, lending a terrible stench to the air and making the far side hazy on an otherwise clear spring morning. Four days before, a beautiful city had stood on green hills dotted with lush villas and farms. Now, all that remained was desolation.

Has it really been four days? Could be three, I suppose, but might be as many as five. That would account for the smell. The bodies of nearly a million people are down there. 

Hunger had fogged her mind such that the days and nights blurred together. 

“I could just sit here and die of starvation,” she said to Novron in a hopeful voice. “The suffering would take longer. Would that be good enough?”

No thunder. No lightning. Not even a breath of wind.

Roda wasn’t sure what to make of Novron's response, or more accurately, his lack of reply. She wasn’t sure what to make of anything anymore. After going so long without a proper meal she was having difficulty thinking.

Maybe I should eat, after all. With a clear head, I could make an informed decision about jumping or wasting away. I don't want to make another mistake. 

——————————————————————————————————————————————

Hey all, Robin here. I hope you've enjoyed this behind-the-scenes look into the making of Out of the Ashes. To be honest, I had my doubts when this whole thing started—and after the years ticked by— I became convinced that nothing would ever come from it. I wanted it to, I spend a huge amount of time trying to help aspiring authors, and usually there are limits to how much help I can provide. While I've certainly "moved the needle" in some circumstances, Out of the Ashes is something that has the possibility of being truly life-changing, and there isn't anyone I can think of that is more deserving. Honestly, Lorian should have given up on numerous occasions. Michael's teaching approach led to an amazing result, but it certainly meant being forged in a crucible. And as tenacious as I am, I probably would have said, "Screw you, old man." (okay that's a Sullivan idiom - coined by my daughter with reference to her father, and while it sounds terrible, I assure you it is filled with love and undying respect.) But Lorian, never uttered those words, and now we all benefit because we'll get to read an amazing story by a new voice in fantasy.

One last thing I want to say, I'm sure there are more than a few people who have some skepticism about this project. And I'll use my favorite Sullivan idiom (this one coined by me), which is: Trust Michael. His standards are beyond high, and there are always reasons for everything he does. 

Yesterday, I finished the second book of The Cycle, and words fail to explain just how good it is. Truly the best thing he's ever written, definitely the best thing I've ever read, and probably something that will live on well after we have long turned to dust. The one overriding thought, the thing that I can't get out of my head, is the sorrow I feel for anyone who loves stories but who'll never read it. In other words, I feel bad for what they will miss out on. And I know there are MANY, MANY, MANY people who won't be eligible.

Why? I can't tell you how many fan letters I've seen from people singing the praises of Riyria or Legends only to learn they never tried "the other series."  In other words, after reading Legends, they are too afraid to read Riyria, and after Riyria, they aren't willing to give Legends a try (or stop after the first book because there is no Royce and Hadrian).

I truly feel sorrow for these folks. They obviously enjoy "a good tale" but their skepticism that the magic can't be recreated keeps them away, and all those people will miss out on The Cycle. Or they'll attempt to read it without the required pre-requisite material, and as such they'll only see the lack-luster translucent impression because they aren't fully cognizant of the myrid of interconnections and larger implications. 

As with Riyria (Revelations and Chronicles), Legends, and the Rise and Fall, Michael has put foundational supports in the books of After the Fall - things he has required Lorian to insert even though she has no idea why. So don't let your skepticism keep you from giving this new series a read. If Michael and I had even an inkling of doubt about whether this work was "worthy of your time," we'd relegate it to the trunk with the thirteen other novels Michael wrote that weren't deemed "good enough." I'd happily pay Lorian for her time, so she wouldn't walk away without anything to show for the effort.  If this project "fell short" in any way we wouldn't have announced it. The truth is, Lorian is an amazing talent, who we feel will have a stupendous career long after the series is completed and released. We're so proud of her and what she has accomplished so far, and thrilled to play a role in helping bring her amazing authorial skills to the world. 

Friday, May 9, 2025

Esrahaddon on Sale!

Sorry, the sale is now officially over (It ran during the month of May 2025). But if you want to be notified of other sales, you can sign up for my newsletter at this link.






Esrahaddon is Michael's highest-rated book (4.9 on Audible with 2,148 ratings).  Here are some of the things people have said about it:

Fantastic! • I didn’t want it to end  Only complaint is it’s over!!!  Brilliant

Excellent book!  Michael Sullivan does it again!  Absolutely fantastic!!!

Awesome!  Outstanding  best fantasy writer alive  Love love love it


I absolutely adored this read, and I hope you'll use this opportunity to pick up the book, or recommend it to someone you love. Oh, and if you want some bonus material you can also checkout:
As always, thanks for your continued support of Michael's writing. It's because of people like you that his dreams have come true.





Thursday, May 8, 2025

After the Fall Part 6 - A seven-part red carpet roll out for Out of the Ashes

  You can read the prior four parts here:


CHAPTER ONE
(A MONTH OF TRIAL AND ERRORS)

The calendar registered a new year: 2023. It was February, three months had lapsed, but the outline was done. This process consisted of Lorian conceiving it, sending me a brief bulleted list of plot points, and my returning it pointing out potential problems. Early on, it was not a comprehensive work by any means. Lorian merely had the beginning, the end and enough stones in the middle to make it across the river without getting wet. Once I was satisfied that she had a working concept that would—barring unforeseen circumstances—hold up to logical scrutiny, I gave her the green light to start writing the first chapter. 

What Lorian originally sent me was good in the sense that it had all the elements necessary to be great. It just wasn’t there yet. I wasn’t looking for a collaborative effort. I didn’t need Lorian to write this book. Instead, I wanted an intensive growth process to make her a better writer, and the only way she could learn was to be given the opportunity to fail. So, I refused to give her answers or solutions. She needed to learn how to do this herself, and thus began the process of her sending me attempts, and me sending them back with comments that always concluded with the two words: TRY AGAIN. 


Lorian — 2/14/23, 4:22 PM

In my head, Elinya is further away from Roda, but the market’s distance is about right. I agree (now that you mention it) that the market is too far away for noise to be an issue. I’ll fix that part (the yell being drowned out).


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/14/23, 4:26 PM

Granted, it isn't easy to understand. This is very subtle, but you introduced a pause in the action when she fell and then was blocked by the bushes. Because of this, she has the chance to pause for a second and think, and you could use that pause to explain motivation. It's like a little pocket inside the action that you created by this physical event. (Writing is more complicated than it appears, eh?)


Lorian — 2/14/23, 4:27 PM

This is one of those places where I groan, take stock of my life, drink a bit, and then get back to work.

Yes, the subtlety is hard to grasp. But I will.

The line with the bushes in the way is crossed out. So should I put it back in if she needs a moment to think? Or perhaps create another reason?

While making edits I decided to have Roda pelt the guy with multiple rocks. It was more fun. So I dropped the idea of having her be a crack shot.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/14/23, 5:06 PM

I have no opinion on which you choose, but you are correct that you need to establish she is a talented pitcher at the time she throws. This can be done subtly, by how she throws, and how you describe it. (Some observation will be necessary.) See if you can do it on your own, if not I’ll show you.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/14/23, 5:07 PM

Metaphors and similes are one of the great problems with invented-world fantasy.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/14/23, 5:08 PM

No. “Earth” isn’t an acceptable word in any form. Your options are soil and dirt. “Earth” is just too real world related.


Lorian — 2/14/23, 5:09 PM

Got it!


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/14/23, 5:22 PM

Yep. That's the thing. None of this is scientific. Not how you use words, not how you write. It is all done by feel. When teaching my son to drive, I could tell him everything, but until he did it and failed several times he couldn't begin to understand. With a car it is easy to know when you failed. With writing you (normally) have no immediate feedback. Lucky for you, you have me. Still, it is a matter of trying this, then that, then that and seeing what works and what doesn't. Eventually, you'll just know what works and won't know how, you'll just know.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/14/23, 5:25 PM

I think I'd put Roda closer to Elinya, or make her trajectory toward the market force her to pass close to Elinya so as to facilitate the events you want to occur. Given this new map, you also might want to think how you can best convey this to the reader without making it too analytical.


Lorian — 2/14/23, 5:26 PM

I can do that. The ledge can move closer to the hill and the market can shift up and to the right.

I’m reminded on an almost daily basis how lucky I am to have instant feedback. I read critique requests on fantasy forums and feel incredibly fortunate not to have to stumble around in the dark and get questionable advice.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/19/23, 8:54 PM

Okay… so you need to picture this part of the process like it is your supercool training montage. Inspiring music is playing as you work late into the night, sending version after version off, which comes back dripping with red pen marks. At some point, you slam the desk and nearly throw the computer across the room. “This is ridiculous! What does he want from me?” But then you pick the computer back up and grudgingly go back to work. 

So yeah, this should be like that. Right?

In this go-around, you need to work on two things. The physical scene (who is standing where, when, and how) and how to better describe these; and understanding how words can be used like a camera doing wide angle shots and close ups, and how wide angles allow the reader to see the whole scene in perfect clarity, establishing the “where everyone is in relationship to the landscape and each other.” Then you zoom in for more detailed shots. You don’t just do this once. You do it every time the scene calls for it—which means every time you need to be certain the reader sees where all the pieces are on the board.

Study the opening scene in Avempartha. You are very light on the more extensive in-depth descriptions. And so … once more … try again. 

DON’T THROW THE COMPUTER!!


Lorian — 2/20/23, 7:53 AM

Is that why you gave me such a big one? Harder to throw?


Lorian — 2/20/23, 9:29 AM

It’s interesting that you chose the Wyatt passage to demonstrate. That’s one of my favorites.


Lorian — 2/20/23, 10:27 AM

Yes, I'm confused about description in action scenes. I get that Roda shouldn't go into a flashback or lengthy internal dialog, but the description thing is confusing me. So it's okay to describe something in detail as long as Roda is seeing, hearing, or feeling it (assuming it's something she would notice at all)? How does limiting adjectives work with that? I'm going to reread your Wyatt example right now in an attempt to answer my own questions, but want to make sure I have it straight.

 

Lorian — 2/20/23, 2:42 PM

And, just so you know, I’m not fed up. I’m fully aware I’m going straight from the bunny slope to the K-13. I’m going to fall down a lot and slam into a few trees. I’m actually ecstatic every time I get a critique full of red marks rather than a pink slip.

 

Michael J. Sullivan — 2/20/23, 3:46 PM

Yeah, I think you understand. 

GENERAL WRITING CONSISTS OF . . .  

Description, Actions, Dialog, Internal dialog (thoughts/observations), Direct Thoughts (Italic first person non-quoted dialog). 

ACTION SEQUENCES CONSISTS OF . . .

Description and Actions.  In this sense, description is limited to the senses: sight, sound, feeling, smell, taste. That said (and this might be your issue) action scenes are interspersed within general writing, and there is no hard and fast rule on not allowing observation in an action scene, but it must serve a purpose and be brief. 

HOW TO TELL WHEN AND WHEN NOT

A good general rule of thumb is to consider your own mind. When you are idle, your mind wanders. You think about strange things. You ponder and speculate. But when the sh*t hits the fan, when your child is choking on a tootsie roll, you don’t ponder or speculate. You are hyper aware. You notice things in detail and you act. This doesn’t mean that the thought of your child dying doesn’t lurk around the edges of your mind. This doesn’t mean you don’t feel terrified, unsure, insecure, but these feelings are only glanced at briefly and thoughts that deal with self-loathing for giving the kid the candy in the first place occurs AFTER the action is over. And if a character thinks of something off topic during an action scene, it is disturbing. 

Example:

Hadrian, Royce, and Arista are in the custody of the Black Diamond in and the tension is palpable and Hadrian gets excited that they have peanuts in their room, this is a telegram to the reader that Hadrian is acting out of normal. He is suspiciously casual. 

When a character thinks something funny or strange in a dire moment it says a lot. 

“You know what bothers me?” Tekchin asked.

Roan, who hadn’t said anything since returning from her visit with Reanna, volunteered an answer. “The fact that all of them have an odd number of ties down the front of their left boots but an even number on their right ones?”

Everyone turned so suddenly to look at her that Roan shrank back. “That wasn’t it?”


Lorian — 2/20/23, 3:54 PM

The “when” part was going to be my next question.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/20/23, 4:04 PM

Just like using a variety of long and short sentences, feeling your way for a rhythm you need to shift between action and contemplation. Right now, you are heavy in contemplation. You're good at it so you lean hard on it. Now you need to develop the weak side.

Lorian — 2/21/23, 10:45 AM

I was thinking that Roda could still hurl rocks if (1) Elinya stops struggling, (2) Roda is highly confident about her aim. Perhaps she grew up hunting rabbits with rocks (looked it up; it’s a thing). That would tie in nicely when she thinks Elinya looks like a cornered rabbit.


Lorian — 2/24/23, 4:00 PM

New version headed your way tomorrow. Finished it today but want to look it over again.


Michael J. Sullivan — 2/27/23, 5:48 PM

Sorry for the delay. Very busy ATM. Spent the day saving my wife from a disaster with her shipping of Will Wight's books. Truck showed up early and it needed emptying - immediately. Very physical, and I’m not in THAT good of shape. It is February for Maribor's sake! Who is in shape in February? Anyway, I am self medicating with whiskey and beer. Will respond to your file soon. I started it, but am only halfway through. Sounds lame given how short it is, but that's the truth.


Lorian — 2/27/23, 5:50 PM

No worries at all. I took what, four days getting it to you? And I didn’t even have a shipping issue on my hands!


Lorian — 3/1/23, 12:50 PM

I haven't figured out what sort of tattoo the thief has (the least of my worries, I know). I don't really have a clear understanding of what animals reside in Elan, other than farm animals and a few wild ones. Tigers, certainly, but the tiger has a specific meaning. A dragon tattoo would also have a meaning. A fish or deer behind bars would be dumb. I don't think an elephant sounds particularly fearsome (even though they ARE really dangerous). No sports team is "The Fighting Elephants". What ferocious beasts are running around?


Michael J. Sullivan — 3/1/23, 1:28 PM

Pretty much the same as in the real world. You just need to keep in mind who is imagining it. Not everyone has heard of tigers and elephants, as they only exist in Calis. But here are some ideas: Lions, Wolves, Badgers, Wolverines, Leopards, Scorpions, Cobras.


Lorian — 3/1/23, 1:34 PM

Thanks!


Lorian — 3/3/23, 10:29 AM

I’ll have the revisions ready for you today. Some of the paragraphs are still too short. Question: In the past when I submitted chapters to the group you would usually say “There are some things I COULD point out, but this is good for now”.  Were those “things” all the in-depth stuff we’re covering now?


Michael J. Sullivan — 3/3/23, 10:36 AM

On a scale of 1-10, what I review in Novel House is 1-3 (basically just trying to orient the writer to understanding the basics—or what I deem to be the basics) With you, now, I am reviewing at a level of 4-8, (meaning I expect you to know the basics, and I am now editing you like I would edit myself, except I am skipping minor things that aren't very important, which is the fine polish stuff.) What you get past me now should easily pass muster at any traditional publisher. When you're done, we'll go back over the whole novel and clean up all the messy stuff. By then, you ought to be capable of doing that yourself.


Lorian — 3/3/23, 10:39 AM

So when I eventually return to the work I previously submitted to Novel House I’ll probably think “Damn, this is terrible”?


Michael J. Sullivan — 3/3/23, 10:43 AM

No. Your writing there was good. You wouldn't be here otherwise. But this is a different kind of writing. You are working in an invented-world-fantasy, and I am insisting that you conform to my style now. But you ought to be able to see new ways to improve your older stuff, in particular when it comes to plotting.


Lorian — 3/3/23, 10:43 AM

I already am. It’s becoming more clear every day why the other book wasn’t working.


Michael J. Sullivan — 3/3/23, 10:45 AM

Sadly, I will warn you that when you're ready to go out on your own, you will no longer enjoy reading.


Lorian — 3/3/23, 10:46 AM

It’s already happening.

——————————————————————————————————————

Hey all, Robin again.  Am I the only one who wants to read this first chapter?  Maybe we'll post it somewhere (Royal Road perhaps) once it gets final aproval from Lorian and Michael after I do a first-pass copy edit.

I guess my trivia from last time was pretty hard, but we did eventually have someone (Matthew the Monk) who obviously got it.  And someone else, Orgami_Elan who was sniffing in the right place.  Here's the answer:

 
Only one post left!

And if you are on goodreads, please follow and/or friend Lorian. And don't forget to add Out of the Ashes to your shelves. Last time I looked it was #8 on the most popular list for the month of release and that list is made based on the number of shelvings of a book. It's currently over 1,300, and in general I like to see 2,000 people interested in a title for me to feel like I've done a decent job getting the word out. Oh, and I should note, this IS NOT an official release date, I'm hoping to get the book released in  2025, but I didn't want to pressure Lorian so I put a date in 2026 that wasn't close to the new year. 

If we can't make the 2025 deadline, this will be the first year since 2008 that Michael didn't have a release.  Yes, technically Drumindor's physical book release in August of 2025, but the ebook and audio came out in mid-2024.